


"The New Normal"

by CherryVanillaCola



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Before and After Starcourt, Billy Hargrove Needs Love, Billy Hargrove Needs a Hug, Billy misses California, Canon Universe, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Steve Harrington, I Made Myself Cry, M/M, Making Up, Short One Shot, Songfic, Stargazing, Steve Harrington Needs a Hug, Steve Misses Billy, Summer of '82, Yearning, be sad with me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:05:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23388463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CherryVanillaCola/pseuds/CherryVanillaCola
Summary: Billy and Steve have a moment before the battle at Starcourt.  Steve visits the same place after the battle.
Relationships: Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington
Comments: 3
Kudos: 41





	"The New Normal"

_Sunrise_

_It’s time, it’s time_

_Step out into the New Normal_

A quiet clearing in the woods, one that not many people were aware of, was a familiar sight to Steve. There was enough moonlight seeping through the trees to help him guide his car into the empty space. He pulled up into the spot, parked, and climbed out to lay on the cold hood. The heat of the new cigarette he’d lit didn’t help suppress the chills he’d get from being out in the dead of night on a cold, summer night. He’s been here before, but not by himself.

The first time he’d come here was with Billy, albeit against his better judgment. Steve had been driving around to blow off some steam when he spotted Billy in the clearing, leaning up against his Camaro as he puffed smoke through his nose. He pulled over absentmindedly, getting out of his car to be met with a sarcastic remark of “Are you stalking me now, Harrington?” Steve remembers the cheeky smile on his face as smoke dragged through his teeth. He remembers it all too vividly…

~

“What are you doing out here?” Steve asked to ignore the sarcasm, striding closer to the blonde while he stomped out his cigarette and straightened himself out, looking like he was ready to knock Steve down a peg if need be. “You hiding a body or something?” He added to try and add levity to the swiftly growing tension.

Steve had wanted to talk to him ever since what happened at the Byers’ house, wanted to try and talk things out. Build another bridge that he didn’t want to burn down. He didn’t have much luck finding him after what happened, thinking maybe he disappeared off the face of the earth. Even if he did see him, it was only a ghosting glimpse. A sight that would last no longer than a second. He was more than a little hung up on trying to find Billy to talk, to try and explain what he could without sounding insane, which wouldn’t be a whole lot. He couldn’t place why he was so obsessed with trying to fix things, but he just… was.

A tut left Billy’s lips as he wracked his eyes over the brunette, hands on his hips almost mockingly. “If I was, I wouldn’t tell you about it now would I?” More sarcasm. It seemed to be his favorite way to respond to anything Steve said. Rolling his eyes in response, Steve crossed his arms and stood his ground, a safe distance away from Billy.

“So, what are you doing here, Hargrove?”

“Is it your business?”

No. But he wanted to know anyway.

“Just wanted to ask man, I dunno,” Steve shrugged his shoulders. He felt like he shouldn’t leave, that for some reason, he needed to be there with the younger man. He didn’t question why, but wracked his brain for an excuse to stay instead. After what felt like an hour, he asked, “You got another cig?”

Much to his surprise, Billy didn’t clock him in the face immediately. Instead, he pulled out two more cigarettes from his pocket, sat on the hood of his car and patted a space next to him. Steve complied, sitting next to him and popping the cig in his mouth as Billy held his lighter between the two of them, both of them leaning closer to each other to light up. Steve looked at him for a minute, seeing the flame of the lighter reveal more bloodied features on the blonde’s face. His lip was popped and red, his left cheek was slightly bruised and a scab had dried on his chin. His once clear blue eyes were dim, the whites of them bloodshot and exhausted. Something clearly happened, but Steve was scared to ask what that something was.

_Embrace the day with your new shame_

“Are you okay?”

The abrupt question broke a comfortable silence. The two men shifted to lay on the Camaro’s hood, looking up at the star speckled sky. Billy’s eyes looked to his right where Steve was laying, his features slightly scrunching at the question.

“What?”

Steve tensed, blinking up at the night before daring to look at the other man. “I just- I dunno. You don’t seem okay, you...” He paused for a second. “You look like someone punched you or something.”

Billy looked conflicted, like Steve had just backed him up into a corner. He sighed out smoke before throwing his cig to the ground, crossing his arms behind his head. His eyes shifted away from Steve, clearly disinterested in the topic of what happened and why he was out there to begin with. Steve kept his eyes on him, expecting any kind of answer to be given to him about his question. The tension was quickly returning.

“You gonna keep staring at me?” The blonde asked rudely, his eyes still fixed away from him.

“You gonna give me an answer?” A very risky reply, but a risk Steve was willing to take to try and help the other man. He knew they wouldn’t get anywhere with themselves if they just sat there in silence staring into the moonlight sky. He knew Billy wouldn’t pipe up first and he knew he’d probably have to press a few times in order to get even half of a conversation in with him.

Another long sigh left the blonde, his tired eyes closing as he turned back to Steve, his cheek resting on his arm. “Why do you care?” he asked, his eyes slowly opening up to meet with Steve’s.

 _'I don’t know_.' “I just… kinda do.” Billy raised his eyebrows. “I just didn’t know if something happened, you know? Figured maybe, I dunno… maybe that’s why you're out here. Cause you were running from something-”

“I don’t run from my fights, Harrington.” His voice was lower this time, not to seem offended or annoyed, just to make a point to nobody but himself. Steve looked at Billy for a moment, taking in how exhausted the younger man now looked. His hair was splayed around his face nicely, the blonde shade being brought out by the moonlight. It almost looked like he was glowing. Like his own little personal halo was surrounding him, making him look like an angel. His eyes were half opened, clouded by drowsiness, but he seemed to be keeping himself awake just fine. Billy looked back up at the stars for a brief moment before lowering his gaze.

"I just… came here to clear my head, you know? Got a lot on my mind."

Steve nodded, not sure if he should press for more or wait for him to say more. He kept his eyes on Billy as he saw him close his eyes again.

"I miss my home."

_Goodbye to those who cannot join us_

"You lived in Cali?”

“Yup. Until I had to move to this shithole town.”

Steve knew Hawkins wasn’t the best place to live in the world, but compared to California? No wonder Billy hated living there. Hawkins was just a dirt patch with a couple of beat up houses compared to the beautiful beaches of Cali. Steve had never been there, but he had heard nothing but good things about where Billy was from. At points in his life, he remembers wishing he had lived there when he was younger or that he could move there when he worked up the money. Maybe he could’ve met Billy when they were both younger.

“Don’t know why you’d trade a life in Cali to live here, of all places,” Steve tried to joke, earning a subtle but visible smile from Billy. Then he slightly shook his head, his smile leaving as soon as it came.

“I know. I still think it was a shit idea to move here but...” The blonde trailed off. “I just miss the little things, you know?”

“Like what?” Steve asked, his eyes watching Billy as he stared at the sky with longing. Mourning.

“The nights in Cali were much prettier than this,” He sighed, eyes following what little stars were in the deep dark sky above them. “The stars were brighter, the moon was clearer. There was never a night where there weren’t millions of stars all over the sky. I used to go to the beach when I was a kid… sneak out of the house and just lay in the sand. Watching the sky.” Billy brought his hand up to the sky, like he was tracing his fingers over the stars to make his own constellations.

As Billy went on to talk about everything beautiful about his home and how much he missed all of it, Steve paid more attention to his face than he did words. He had never seen Billy smile so genuinely before, never seen him so happy to be talking about something. He was talking to Steve so easily, like there was no grudge between them. Like Billy never kicked his ass at the Byers’ house. The smile on his face didn’t leave for as long as he talked, his eyes looking brighter in the moonlight. A pretty crystal shade of blue. _'Like the ocean'_ , Steve thought.

Steve stared at Billy the whole time he talked, hanging on every word while getting lost in how happy he looked. How bright the smile on his face was while he spoke of his childhood. How calm everything felt. Maybe this is why Steve wanted to patch things up with Billy. To feel calmer around him, not like they had to be at each other's throat at every waking moment they were together. To feel safe around him instead of feeling like he was in danger. He felt… at peace.

_Their voices are still heard in every word that we say_

“Will you ever go back to Cali?”

It took Billy less than a second to answer with a firm ‘yeah, of course I would!’ Why wouldn’t he? He’d get to see all his friends again, get to finally be back in the only place he considered his home. Finally be miles away from Hawkins. Billy’s response felt bittersweet to Steve. He’s happy he had an idea of what he wanted for the near future but he was almost upset about how that future wouldn’t be in Hawkins. How it would be somewhere else with new people, with new friends. It almost hurt his feelings.

Either way, Billy started going down the mental list of things he would do once he got back home. He’d get a beach house- without argument. He wanted to wake up every morning and sit on the beach or go surfing whenever the tide was perfect. He’d waste no time staying in his house when he could be enjoying every beautiful sunset and sunrise Cali always had to offer. Instead of going for a lifeguard job, Billy would rather be teaching kids surfboard lessons. While it was a talent he had to learn by himself, he seemed very eager to teach any new starry-eyed kid who’s willing to learn.

“Sounds like you’ve got everything planned out, huh?” Steve asked, laying his head on the cold metal of Billy’s car. He never turned his face away from the other man.

“Of course I do, why wouldn’t I? As far as I’m concerned, Cali was made for me, man. Can't go leaving it behind, ya know?” Billy beamed up at Steve, a huge, happy smile on his face. Steve nodded in response and smiled back, albeit halfheartedly. He didn't trust his voice to sound encouraging with his jealousy slowly bubbling up in the back of his throat. Jealous of a future that had yet to happen.

"Now that I think about it, though…" Billy started, his gloved fingers tapping the back of his head. "Maybe you should come with me."

"What?" _'I thought you'd never ask'_

"I think you heard me, Stevie." The blonde grinned, a breathy chuckle leaving his lips. "You'd like Cali. It's a more fitting place for a king."

He never let Steve live down that old title.

"You're being serious right now, really?"

Billy blinked up at him, his head tilting ever so slightly to the side. "What? Don't like the sound of it?"

"No- I do, I just… I dunno, didn't think you'd want me around." Steve shrugged his shoulders, hoping the offer wasn't just something made in passing. Something to be forgotten. 

"D'aww, c'mon, Harrington. Of course I want you around. I'll miss my favorite lil' punching bag if you don't come." An eye roll from Steve was all it took to send Billy's head back with laughter that filled the air. Steve watched as the blonde's features relaxed again, his cheeks looking a little rosier than before. Blue crystal eyes looking brighter than any star he's ever seen.

"In all seriousness, though. It'd be great if you'd wanna come. I could show you everything Cali has to offer- I know all the stops." Billy looked like a kid in a candy store as he spoke, like they were leaving for California the next morning. Bags packed and ready to leave this shithole behind.

"I could tell," Steve couldn't help but smile with him, Billy's happiness shockingly contagious. Steve felt a little excited himself, like he'd actually be going off on another adventure soon. The kind of adventure when you leave your comfort zone for something more interesting. Different and inviting. Something he'd experience with Billy.

"I'm totally down if you mean it. Shit, I'll pack my bags right now, screw this place." Steve leaned up from the car hood only to be pulled back down by a firm hand on his shoulder. The grip was looser than expected, his back hitting the hood but not enough to hurt.

"Calm down, Stevie. We're not going right now." Billy shook his head at him with a laugh. The blonde had turned on his side to face the brunette, completely in Steve's view. "Soon, though. I'll let you know a day ahead of time so you have time to pack. Alright?"

Steve didn't answer immediately. It had just hit him that they had suddenly gone from starting fights with each other for no reason to planning a future in Cali together. Was it that simple? Was he missing something? All of that wasn't a joke, right? It all sounded so serious, but he was only processing it now.

"Steve?"

The brunette snapped his attention away from his thoughts, realizing he kinda left Billy hanging. The blonde looked up at him patiently, eyes big and almost pleading for an answer. He almost looked hurt and it made Steve's chest ache.

"You… you're serious?"

"I wouldn't lie about this, Stevie." 

"You promise?" It was childish to ask that, but he felt the need to no matter how meek it made him feel. Billy's smile returned to his rosey face.

"I promise."

_As we blend into new normal_

That promise was made in late May, before Steve was sure he'd landed that job at _Scoops Ahoy_ . Before he'd seen Dustin again and got himself into more trouble than he'd bargained for. Before he knew Russians were hiding somewhere in the depths of the bright new mini mall Hawkins all but invited in. Before _Starcourt Mall_ was destroyed by a monster they'd thought they'd gotten rid of for good.

_Familiar paths, different places_

After witnessing all that, all the carnage and stress that event brought onto Steve, he needed that trip to Cali. He needed to be away from whatever was going on in Hawkins. As much as he cared about his new friends, some time to himself wouldn't hurt. So there he was, in that same familiar clearing in the middle of the woods. Laying on his car and wishing the past traumas in his mind would leave him be.

His cigarette had burnt down dangerously close to his lips as he got lost in the void of the mid July sky. It hadn't changed from that night in May. The same stars burning just as brightly as they did almost two months ago. Same stars, same moon, same sky. Same Steve Harrington. Different feelings in his chest.

_You've donned yesterday's smile_

_To decorate your new face_

Steve could hear his voice in the back of his head. Ringing in his ears, almost like he was still with him. Word for word, the conversation played in Steve's one track mind. Visions of the blonde appeared under his eyelids as they closed, strained, shaky breaths leaving his red lips. He imagined the things he could've said to him, the things he should've said to him. The millions of different ways the night would've gone if the slightest thing had changed. A side jabbing as a joke. An absent minded compliment about how heavenly he looked. A subtle wink after a seemingly joking flirt. 

A kiss?

Maybe. But in May, when everything was still going array between them, it would've been too much.

_'But what would he have said? What would he have done?'_

A warm streak fell from Steve's eyes, grabbing his attention. He hadn't noticed the tears welling up in his eyes had started to spill over. He let them fall, opening his eyes again to meet with the night once again. He smiled to himself, sourly.

"I'm ready to go when you are, you know?" He sniffled, swallowing a thick lump in this throat.

"I've been saving up from my paychecks to have pocket money ready when we go. All the stops, you said? How many of them are shops? I might need to bring an extra empty suitcase for all the stuff I'll buy." A dry laugh ripped its way out of his chest.

"I've thought about it almost every night since we talked. Thought about what I'd bring, what we'd do aside from go to town, where we'd stay. I was so excited when you told me about it all. Like, I finally wouldn't just have to see Cali in a postcard or a magazine ad." He sighed, collecting himself before closing his eyes completely. His vision was crowded by tears, blurred and hazy to the point where it made him dizzy.

"So… when are we heading out, Billy?" His voice couldn't help but crack at the last word. He hasn't said it in so long. It felt so foreign to say it again.

"You promised we would, right? You promised..."

_(Miss you, I'll miss you)_

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by New Normal by Jack Stauber
> 
> Thank you for reading! Hope this was alright even though its super sad ;; 
> 
> Find me on:  
> Tumblr: @ciggs-and-surfboards


End file.
